Good Things Happen When You Start to Ask for What You Want

There is power in asking for what you want. It forces you to know yourself, what you prefer, and what you need. This clarity makes it possible to have a life filled with things you like, and the support that makes life easier and fun.

The result of asking for what you want is a ripple effect of good things that begin to materialize in your life.

A satisfaction builds from living a fulfilled life by being direct and articulate about your needs.

Last update on 2026-01-08 / Affiliate links / Images from Amazon Product Advertising API

People who don’t ask for what they want to struggle with three things consistently:

Feeling unsupported – People who don’t ask for what they want to feel unsupported by those closest to them at home and at work. They feel like they are always giving and compromising, while never having what they want.

This is true: because no one knows what they want.

Being a martyr – This characteristic is found in people who will grudgingly support others’ decisions while sacrificing their own personal desires. This is a psychological complex based on repeating patterns that places oneself in a victim role.

People can sense your underlying anger and resentment and will naturally avoid being in a relationship with someone who acts like this.

Being passive-aggressive – Without the ability to ask for what they want, people can resort to silently aggressive or sabotaging behavior to leak out their frustrations without a face-to-face confrontation.

This behavior perpetuates the anger they feel and can cause rifts in relationships.

Being able to ask for what you want removes these struggles and makes it possible to have higher quality relationships and personal satisfaction.

People who ask for what they want to experience these three good things:

Feeling valued- People who ask for what they want will generally receive it: from going to their favorite restaurant on date night to watching the blockbuster movie they’ve been waiting for. By asking for what their hearts desire, they usually find that it can happen.

Feeling valued comes from being able to have your needs and wants routinely met.

Being respected – People who are direct, who know what they want, and ask for it in polite ways are respected. They are viewed as trustworthy and safe to be in a relationship with. They are seen as being leaders and highly confident.

Being confident – The knowledge that you are valued and respected builds on itself and causes your confidence to bloom. Being a well-functioning person is attractive and rewarding. People enjoy being in a relationship with confident people, and they tend to have more rewarding life experiences while not letting petty things get in their way.

Of course, the material things that come from asking for what you want are nice – but the bigger prize is the experience of being in healthy relationships that are rewarding and respectful. Living your life with a sense of value and reciprocity is never a bad thing.

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Start Small and Work Your Way Up to Asking for Bigger Things

If you’ve lived your life unable or unwilling to ask for what you want or need, it can feel like speaking a foreign language.

Your tongue can’t seem to form the words “Would you, could you, will you”? Let alone, “I’ll have, I’d like, I’ll take…” It’s going to take some practice to get you ready for asking for bigger things.

Here are some ways to start small and work your way up to asking for bigger things:

Small Asks

Pick a restaurant – When someone asks, “Where should we eat?” be ready with your answer. Pick your favorite place and get ready for Taco Tuesday or French Fry Friday!

Pick a movie – Hate horror flicks and love a great rom-com? The next time you go to a movie, ask to see the movie you want to see and grab some popcorn with extra butter.

Delegate one chore – Passing on responsibility can be hard for many reasons but getting the help you need is more important than any reason you may have for hesitating.

Delegate to someone else one chore that you can let go of that will make a positive impact for you.

Last update on 2026-01-08 / Affiliate links / Images from Amazon Product Advertising API

Medium Asks

Ask a friend for help – Admitting to a friend that we could use some help can feel vulnerable. A good-sized medium ask includes exposing a need to a friend and getting their support.

Need help tackling an out of control closet? Ask a friend who loves to organize for their help getting your space in order.

You might be pleasantly surprised to learn they want to help.

Outsource help at home – Many of the places we feel overwhelmed and in need of help are tied to our home. From lawns to mow to weeds to pull and ceiling fan blades to clean, we just can’t seem to get ahead. Outsourcing some tasks at home can free up time and energy better used in other places.

Have an important conversation with your spouse about rearranging your budget to get the help you need.

Share a secret desire with your spouse – This may feel like a big ask, but it really is a medium-sized ask. Approach your spouse with a long-held wish for your relationship that will make it stronger and happier. Consider what you’d love to be, do, or have in your relationship and ask your spouse to come on board with your plan.

When they see the benefits they get from your happiness, they will be glad to help out.

Big Asks

Ask for support from your boss – Admitting that you need help at work might feel like a suicide mission, but it needn’t be the end of the world. Oftentimes, employers want to know when a system isn’t working or there is a way to increase production and desired outcomes.

The key to this big ask is already having a solution in mind when you approach the boss.

Come to them with a solution to a problem and the answer is usually Y.E.S.

Ask for the job – Do you keep waiting to be noticed? Are you putting in effort hoping that the right person will take action and hire you?

Fortune favors the bold is a common translation of a Latin proverb. If you want the customer, the contract, or the job – ask for it.

Renegotiate a contract- Contracts are meant to be binding, but sometimes there are windows of opportunity to make changes. If you are unhappy with a service or a contract, don’t passively suffer.

Be bold and ask for change.

The worst that can happen is that nothing changes, and the best thing is renewed confidence and a new, more beneficial contract.

Learning a new language takes time and practice. It’s the same for learning new behaviors. Developing the confidence to ask for what you want is easier if you take it in small steps, building on one another.

Start with small asks and gather momentum as you reach higher and receive more.

Most importantly: Always, Always, Always take action