Tips For Making Friends
While there are some people who are naturals at making friends, and influencing people, for most of us it’s a learned skill. Life becomes easier when you can win people over and have fun together. It helps you to both reach your goals, saving a lot of time and effort.
Here are a few tips to help you accomplish your goal of making friends. Each and every tip on this list is a powerful,personal, tool.
- Smile and make eye contact.
- Be genuine. It’s too easy to spot when you’re faking it for your own benefit.
- Listen and observe. You’ll learn a lot about other people that way.
- Be aware of your body language. It speaks louder than your words. Be open and inviting.
- Check your attitude and adjust as needed. Keep working on it till you feel it.
- Pay attention to details and use the other person’s name frequently.
- Stay in touch and don’t be afraid to share something about yourself.
- Find common ground in conflicts and at the start of new relationships.
- It’s a team effort. Don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty.
- Focus on what’s in it for them.
Work through this list one tip at a time. Start with the one that seems easiest, or most interesting. When it becomes a habit, move on to the next tip. Keep working your way through the list, learning and continuing to practice each tip or skill as you go along.
It won’t be long before you start to notice a positive change in the way you interact with people and more importantly, how they respond to you. Keep working at it and it won’t take you long to become the, people person you’ve wanted to be.
Making Friends – How Not To
What Makes You “Click” With Some People And Not Others?
Sometimes you meet another person and the two of you instantly click. You hit it off and keeping a conversation going becomes easy and effortless. Other times, you meet someone and they either don’t leave an impression at all, or you can’t stand them from the start.
What makes the difference? Why do we “click” with some people and not others?
It turns out that the answer is rapport.
When we click with someone, we’re building rapport with them. Another way to look at it is to say that we find some common ground, something that instantly connects us. Maybe it’s because we both discover a love of cooking, or that we enjoy the same sports team. Maybe it’s that we both have kids the same age or enjoy gardening.
It doesn’t matter what it is or even how big or small the connection is. Once it’s there, it’s hard not to click and can be hard to break that connection.
Our goal, when we want to get better at creating relationships with those around us is to make sure we have that rapport with whoever we meet as often as possible. While there won’t always be a natural connection, at least not one that’s obvious, you can make sure you create a good rapport no matter what.
Start by paying attention and really listening. Play like a detective and see what you can deduce about a person near you. Then take a genuine interest in what they are passionate about.
That’s it. That’s all it takes to create the initial rapport. Be genuinely interested and you will begin to “click”, and your conversations and interactions will go very smooth.
From there, it’s up to you to make the most of this initial connection and rapport. While this may help you get your foot in the door, it’s up to you to treat the other person with honesty and respect.
To continue a mutually beneficially relationship, it’s important to keep in mind what’s in it for them going forward. In other words, clicking with another person is only the first step. It’s important because it gets the two of you off to a great start, but it’s not the end-game.
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The Secret Of Smiles And Eye Contact
It’s the two combined that will make you seem more friendly and approachable. Combined together, this is a very powerful energy. It instantly shows the other person that you’re open to talk and interact. It’s hard to resist someone who smiles genuinely at you and maintains a comfortable eye contact.
That’s when the real magic happens, although each one individually is quite positive as well.
Making Friends – The Power of a Smile
Something special happens when someone genuinely smiles at us, doesn’t it? I’m not talking about the polite smile you get as you pass people on your way to work. I’m talking about a real smile that lights up the person’ face. It really is a powerful thing.
It is universal across all languages and cultures. It signals that all is well and safe. We are much more comfortable approaching and talking to a smiling person than a grumpy one. In fact, when we’re socializing, a smile can signal permission to approach.
Think about the last time you were looking at someone you were attracted to. If they gave you a big smile, you’re much more comfortable walking over to talk to them.
The same holds true when you’re trying to reach out to new people and win them over to you. Start with a big, genuine smile and it will become much easier.
Maintaining Good At Eye Contact
Making and maintaining eye contact can be a little intimidating at first. If you’re an introvert, or simply not a very social person in general, this will seem hard, and possibly even scary. Your default reaction may be to avert your eyes and look down.
That’s a hard habit to overcome, but it can be done.
Practice on people you meet as you run errands around town. The grocery store cashier is a great way to start. The next time you are at the store, make eye contact with the cashier for a few seconds and smile. Next time, hold the eye contact for longer or do it multiple times.
Just be careful not to seem creepy or forced. Keep practicing as you go about your day and it will start to become easier.
Your Attitude and Your Likability Factor
Have you thought about how much your attitude influences how well you’re liked and respected by your peers, friends, colleagues, and people around you in general?
Or, turn it around, have you noticed how another person’s attitude influences your perception and likability of them. That’s why it’s important to check your attitude, and make sure it’s appropriate for situation you’re in.
Say you’re at the airport on a layover and because your first flight was delayed, you missed your connection. You’re rightfully upset, but is that attitude going to help get you to your final destination?
Probably not. If you approach the ticket counter with a bad attitude, the attendant won’t likely won’t go out of their way to help you get where you need to go.
On the other hand, you understand that it’s not the attendant’s fault, it’s not personal, adjust your attitude, walk up with a smile on your face, things will go a lot smoother. You will be a lot more likable, and someone the attendant will want to try to help.
Just a little attitude adjustment can make a huge difference.
This approach works in all areas of your life. We all have bad days when things just don’t seem to go right.
We have days when we have to deal with difficult bosses or customers that put us in a bad mood. We’re all sad sometimes, or angry, or tired and depressed. That’s part of life, but it doesn’t mean that that’s the attitude we share with those around us, particularly when we need their help.
If you are upset, stop and check your attitude. Evaluate it, and decide if it’s appropriate.
Will it help you achieve what you want from the situation? If not, change your energy.
Do your best to actually change your attitude, instead of just pretending.
It’s often easy to tell when a person is not being genuine. Of course, you can’t simply turn your feelings around on a dime.
Adjust your attitude by realizing that may not be the other person’s fault, it’s not personal You can’t blame an airline clerk for an engine problem on the plane for example.
Think of the person as just that… a real person who goes home at the end of her shift to a family and a whole different set of problems. With that in mind, it becomes easy to adjust your attitude and approach her with kindness and respect.
Give it a try and see where it gets you the next time something goes wrong in your life.
Be the Person Who is Honest And Reliable
There is a lot of value in being a person who’s honest and reliable. Given a choice, who would you trust more if a person approached you with an opportunity or even just asking for a favor? You’d trust the person who you feel is honest and reliable.
This is why it is important to show those around you that you are honest and reliable in every situation. It establishes trust, and that will go a long way in getting people on your side and winning them over, whatever you’re trying to accomplish.
Always Be Honest
Quite often we’re tempted to tell a little white lie, or tell people what they want to hear, even if it isn’t the truth. It’s a common practice, but sometimes can do you more harm than good over the long run.
Being an honest and trustworthy person carries a lot of weight. It buys you respect, loyalty, and of course trust. All of these attributes will come in handy when you need others to help you with something.
That little white lie may seem harmless, or you may just be bending the truth a little, but trust me, dishonesty is quickly noticed and will do more harm to a reputation, than good.
Being reliable seems like such an old-fashioned virtue, doesn’t it? In our fast-paced world, we’re far too used to people letting us down or being late. It seems part of life and we often don’t think twice when we find ourselves backing out or running late.
This is exactly why being known as a very reliable person gives you a big advantage. It makes you stand out from the crowd and makes you memorable. People will turn to you instead of someone else. It also builds trust, just like honesty does.
Keep in mind that friendships change over time, keeping friends is as important as making friends, so adjust accordingly.